Have you ever tried to unpack your change history?

Change, It is natural

Change, It is natural- RDBlogz

Our human race is constantly evolving, and our lifetime is a minute part of that. We build our experiences based on our previous experiences. Good experience or bad experience, they equally bring some value to our existence. We gain every experience by a change, within us and outside of our control. Overtime, changes in our body physically bring value to our emotions. Some people express these emotions pleasantly and some not. Overall, it is important to know why, how and where these changes happened and how we dealt with it. That is why people write books, and we read them to learn how to cope with changes based on what others around us felt and dealt with those changes.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama

If all changes have the potential to bring good to all of us, can we live happily for ever? No, I guess not. We will not be able to bear that much happiness in this world! (Really!). The change happens no matter what the result is. It is a natural way of evolution to bring good in this world.

Change is inevitable and without change, we cannot survive in this world. Without a change, we will not grow. Change brings inventions, and we move towards a higher goal. Change brings new things into our life. Regardless of who we are and where we live, not all are immune to change. Resisting a natural change is a futile act. We are part of the change. However, we can influence a change to some degree in some places. We can influence our family to join a regular exercise program, that will in turn make our aging process a little of pain free. The change of aging is a never-ending process and we can mitigate. It is the same with any other change.

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

There are many types of transitions in our life. Every change start with an end of another change and the new change will have an end. It is an endless change process.  Transition is part of the life, and every change has a beginning and an end; we just have to understand the impact and adapt to the changes and fight for the natural progression of life.

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 – 1965), The Razor’s Edge, 1943

It is good to know sometimes that not all changes happened in our life are painful. Reflecting honestly on our past and recognizing those changes that shaped our future is useful to face changes in the future and live strongly to face the unexpected changes.



Leadership, How much I know about it?

As part of my MS Program, yesterday I attended the first class of “Interpersonal and Leadership Skills” course, which runs for next 10 weeks.
It is really fascinating to learn about leadership and thoroughly understand how leaders actually think and lead. I am also super excited to be part of this class which is run by Professor, Dr.Brent French who is also a US Air Force Reserve Colonel.

In this post I wanted to capture my questions and basic understanding of what leadership is. This is not a post that teach about leadership. It is about simply looking in to what I think about leadership and hopefully I will write another post with more clarity on this topic once I complete this course.

I am also very happy for that now I don’t have to think a lot to find topics for my blogging!!! Reading a lot of books for this course and I am sure that will keep me busy for next 3 months.


What is leadership?
Do we really need to understand who is a leader and what is leadership?
Why do we care?
Why do we have this much of literature to understand leadership and its various styles?
Does this literature created to create better followers? Some times I think about that seriously!!!
Can we teach leadership to lead people?
What about those Born leaders? Lincoln and Obama were not taught to be leaders? They chose to become leaders? Isn’t it true!
Does circumstances clearly manipulate people whether they can become leaders or not?
Leaders who became leaders as part of a big transformation event are still called leaders or just acted because there is no other way to survive other than leading people?
What level of psychology we need to know to understand a leader and his/her style of leadership?
If we understand can we teach how to be a leader  like that? But every person is different and how can we expect one person to follow a certain style?
Can we teach leadership? If yes, how easy it is to teach kids and Adults.
Can we teach adults to become leaders?….
Can we identify Narcissistic leadership easily?
I always think of a leader as someone who has exceptional qualities and skills and is fearless to face the adversities. Does all leaders have these qualities?

A real leader needs to have two qualities, one of the head and the other of the heart – Sensibility and Sensitivity.

Sri Sri at the International Leadership Summit – Jan,07,2013

Every situation I see either that at home or office need some kind of direction or to be lead by some one. Some times my wife takes the leadership of running the house and I take the leadership of taking care of kids education.
At office I see it as a structured and hierarchical leadership. I see leadership as a quality in person /or group of people who can lead people to achieve a common worthwhile achievable goal in an encouraging and motivating environment.Personal Leadership

I believe some people are born leaders. I interacted with some leaders with whom working was a pleasure in a trusted relationship. Again this can be a perception based on my background and how I want to be lead by someone who is a leader. I think it is natural that people look for a leader if they cannot do something that a leader can by gathering a group of people.

Influential leaders show sympathy and care and have a great sense of self respect, self control and responsibility for the growth of their followers. Also it is true that some leaders are only interested to command people for personal satisfaction or other ulterior motives.

Leaders should know what their followers are expecting from them and adjust their path accordingly. And at the same time leaders should be clear in their directions to followers, about what they are thinking and expecting from the group. Followers are not “mind readers”, it is the responsibility of leaders to understand the group pulse and needs of followers and lead them efficiently.

Ethics is part of the leadership role. I don’t think any leader would continue to be a leader without proving to his followers that his intentions are good and live with high moral values.

Our past drives our future

It’s been proven time and time again, that leaders who came from oppressive or difficult backgrounds become servant leaders, who serve their followers with compassion, love and support.It is also true that leaders coming from a less fortunate background may become leaders who may run big enterprises to show that they are not poor anymore. Dictators, Spiritual Leaders, Democratic leaders, Educators and more, all these people are leaders, good or bad, forceful or influencing, their mark of leadership is imminent on the society.

LeadershipLearning about leadership probably gives us a chance to understand how this society is working, where we are living or working and adjust ourselves to prepare for the future. It doesn’t matter whether we follow a certain leader or not, we always need to follow a leading principle which morally, ethically makes sense and which works for the betterment of our lives, family and society.



ESL and my Observations while living in USA

non-native-english It has been a while I was planning to write a post regarding what I learned how non native English speakers use English in USA, especially people who came from India, like me. As mentioned in this article, “Everyone speaks English differently, especially if it is not your first language”.
There are different accents in USA in addition to what non native English speakers have. The difference is accent and dialect. Non native English speakers have an accent not that much of specific dialect, which we usually find in Texan English and New York English.

Language is a medium of expression and enable us to be part of a society.
Languages have different variations, sign language, programming language, animal language and languages that we all speak around the world, hundreds for sure!!!!

It is easy to express if you feel happy, simply smile. But the other person has to be there to see your smile. Yes, yes, I know you can use face time to do that. So why do we need to speak, because we are social animals and we are hard wired to talk?

By the way we have to agree, because we are social animals we would like to communicate by speaking with a certain accent to identify ourselves with a specific social class. That brings us to the important point of this post, English as a Second language Phobia.

In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely, the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities.

I live in USA and this country is the best place in the world for all kinds of things to observe, including ourselves, while speaking in English. It’s kind of a lab with endless possibilities to watch and learn many important things. It is a home of global languages. Unless you are born and brought up here in USA, most of the people whose primary language is NOT ENGLISH, suffers with some kind of distress and interference, when they need to communicate purely in English with native English speakers. The problem with “ESL” people is, they have to first think in their native language and translate that in to English and then speak. That’s a lot of processing, and unfortunately for many, that processing itself doesn’t work efficiently.

Over the years, say 10 to 15 years, after he/she arrives in USA a non native English speaking person (exclude people graduated from English medium schools and people who’s families are well settled and could use English regularly back in their native countries) get to understand the lyrics of an American English song clearly and most importantly in the context of American society. If you think 10 years is long time to reach that stage then you are not that part of the population who had the English speaking phobia. You are lucky !!

It is not that English is a complex language, it is the matter of exposure to usage. Many people from India are very good in writing English essays and other stuff, but when it comes to the point of general conversation they have to patch sentences  and words from past conversations or movies they watched (that’s a little exaggerated, I know!!!). The thickness in the pronunciation clearly shows that they are still thinking in their native language and speaking in English by translating it on the fly. However, in my observation they speak fluently in English if they are talking to native English speaking Americans. But that flow comes to a grinding halt when they start conversing with other non native English speakers. (it is just my observation….!!!). Is it because we don’t expect our own people speak fluent English or it just happens…. hmm. I couldn’t quite get it.

Now the good part here is most non native English speaking people learn to speak fluently in English by engaging conversations with their American born kids. There you go. Free practice at home.. But you need to wait at least 5 to 6 years to have your first baby to go to day care and start bringing that American accent back home to practice. However those people are lucky who talk and talk every day with Americans in the grocery stores and offices.
If you are an Indian software programmer or some one in the IT from India, you have too many options to learn and speak English. But the problem is you are within your social group, obviously Indians, right! Well that is not much helpful isn’t it?. It is good for Indian MS students. You know they have no restrictions, and they just become Americans the moment they land in USA. Remember, “Hey Dude, whassup??” language. Interestingly they are more Americanized than regular American students sometimes surpassing in all aspects!!!!
Well there are many things I observed in my last 13 years of living in USA, but still don’t get to speak like an American with 100% American English. I don’t think that is bad or anything like that. But once you have a feeling of trying to become one of them and not able to do so efficiently, it puts some feeling inside and makes you feel like something is dragging your leg to show your full talent in a group of people.
This could keep us, a lot of us (Non Native English Speakers) not to utilize our original talent fully, because language could have become a big barrier. However, I overcame this sense of feeling bad of not speaking in American English language long time back by using simple and plain English and using some easy going American words, like “I am running late”!!!!
ESL situation should not become a burden, instead it should give an opportunity to grow and learn something new everyday. The only remedy is to practice a lot even though you know there will be mistakes in while doing so. Grammar is not a big deal and I don’t really mind writing with grammar mistakes as long as I am using plain and simple English to convey my message.

Well, “right off the bat” this is one my longest posts and I was one of those people who gone “bonkers”, when they heard saying some body bought a “Beemer”!!

So, “I’m all ears”, shoot me with your comments, if you can!


Good Bye 2012 !!

We all love New Year and feel like we are getting another chance to do things better than last year. Yes , we are optimistic and we hope for the best to happen, again. 2012 was  a good year overall but all those great achievements were overshadowed by brutal and senseless killings at Sandy Hook elementary school, effects of killer storm Sandy and gruesome, shameful gang-rape incident in India. Bad incidents does happen every year but when we feel we could stop those, we as a society feel and carry guilt in our hearts in to a New Year, hoping some how we can move on and take measures to stop these incidents to happen again.bye-2012

For victims and their families lives have changed forever. They will lead a painful life with those unforgettable memories of their loved ones.

I sincerely pray to God to give courage and ray of hope for those victims and their families and wish them a bright and peaceful new year 2013 and may our society take actions to stop these crimes against kids and innocent people.


This is my last post in 2012 and wish to say goodbye to 2012 with a sigh of relief that “Our world didn’t end, after all” as predicted. YaY!!!!

That’s a good reason to welcome the New Year, isn’t it.

Bye Bye, 2012…..


The day you will never get again in your life (at least for next 100 years !!!)

I thought of doing something special today, which is obviously a day to remember. 12/12/12, December,12,2012, 2012-12-12 and so on…..
Then I decided to post some thing today on my blog just to record this day.

A day that comes once in 100 years… amazing feeling about it..We will not be there next time when this day comes..weird feeling !!!!

Is there any person celebrating his/her birthday on this special day… Yes…Here you go…

Happy Birthday Dear Rajnikanth..


Here you go, we have OBAMA 2.0 !!!

Yes, the trend continues. The citizens of USA selected incumbent president Mr. Barack Obama as their leader for another term. Congratulations President!!
Since the time of President Bill Clinton, the trend to believe in the working president to continue his second term continues. Mr. Mitt Romney had a very good chance to win (at least there was a hope!), but at the end winning an election does not depend  on how a candidate campaigns, it is what the people’s sentiment is!. I thought people will give a chance to Mr. Romney. But I am wrong. People just follow the trend and don’t want any “MORE” instability for USA. One way it is good and absolutely that is what is needed to be a leader in the world, for USA. The world is looking at America and hoping that somehow USA comes back to its original super power status.


In democracy people chose their leader , not the leader choose to lead. And the beauty of it is those who didn’t choose their  leader will still work with their new leader, thinking that the majority of their fellow citizens took a wise decision. However, time will decide that part and leaders can only  influence the policies not the past.

I wrote a post when President Obama won the 2008 elections and sworn in Jan,2009  and I didn’t know that he will win a second term with such a fanfare. People not just in USA but around world are looking at him as a leader who will lead US in to the level of achievement in all areas, economy, jobs, stability around the world and so and so forth.

I truly believe in the democracy and had a good feeling about that process in USA so far. However, I see a pattern of high voter turnout in these 2012 elections and clearly see a sense of interest in the participation. I used to hear through all news channels in last 10 to 15 years that govt is urging its people to go and vote. I was wonderingClick here to read full victory speech why people are not interested to go and vote. But now we can see how this is changing. Hope this is changing for good and people are realizing their vote power and coming together to get “their LEADER” elected.

All democratic countries should learn lessons from India, world’s largest democratic country. The lessons can be as simple as issuing a voter card for their citizens to stop the voter fraud and biggest one can be how future campaigns don’t misuse the media.

I wish our President Mr. Barack Obama a great success in his continuing role as leader of USA and its future!


The Power of Association

It is very important to know WHO YOU ARE and what is your worth in this society, within your age group and obviously in your family. Many people doesn’t really think about this aspect of their lives, until they hit a hard floor while dealing the human relations. Many of them think they are good in understanding what their worth is and what other people think about them.

As Mahatma Gandhi , The father of India, once said, “Don’t tell me who are you, just show me who your freinds are or whom you always associated with, I will tell you WHO YOU ARE“. That is the power of association. Whether it is the physical presence in a group or putting your brain in a pool of thoughts, which makes a lot of impact on how one behaves, work or plan for his future.